


I believe in the Kingdom Come
Then all the colors will bleed into one ~
bleed into one ...
But yes, I'm still running.
You broke the bonds and you loosed the chains,
carried the cross and all my shame ~
all my shame ~
You know I believe it...
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
No, I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
U2
8:16 am ~ I woke up this morning with this song in my head, which is probably no coincidence because there is a book of sermons based on U2 songs that I thought I would look for in the library. I had a few minutes to just lay there listening to the birds outside before my alarm went off. I showered, dressed, and set off for the Vespers service. On my walk I had to detour to get a closer look at some javelina rooting around in a clearing. There were several of them which paid me no mind; I'm thinking the wildlife here have it pretty good! Also I noticed that the vultures were still in their palm trees. Apparently they sleep in! (too early for anything to have died? :) I never knew so much about vultures!
The Vespers service was nice; the chapel is tidy and spare. The scripture read during the service was from the book of John, chapter 21 : verses 20 - 25
Peter turned around and saw the disciple Jesus loved following them ... Peter asked Jesus, "What about him, Lord? What sort of death will he die?"
Jesus replied, "If I want him to live until I return, what is that to you? You follow me."
So the rumor spread that the disciple wouldn't die! But that wasn't what Jesus said at all! He only said,"If I want him to live until I return, what is that to you?"
I am that disciple! I saw these events and have recorded them here.
Then, much to my surprise, we were to pair up and discuss for a minute what this scripture meant to us. This one was pretty easy for me. Here we see Peter, Jesus' right hand man, worried not about his own task at hand, but instead with what was going on with John. Was John getting a better deal? Had Peter been dissed? I think our human tendency to think this way is one of the reasons Christianity has a bad name to non-Christians. If we all gave the same amount of attention to our own thoughts, motives, and actions as we do to those of others, how much better would things be? We all have our own lives, our own gifts, our own handicaps, as we travel our individual paths. Who are we to judge another person when most of us have enough trouble taking care of our own business. To me, the message is simple. Seek my purpose, and do not allow myself to become discouraged, distracted, or feel superior as a result of comparing myself to others. That's a pretty tall order in itself, don't ya think? I have another favorite from the book of Matthew that goes hand in hand with this.
Matthew 7 : 1-5 ~ "Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgement you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye yet pay no attention to the plank that is in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite ~ first take the plank out of your own eye, then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."
A good reminder for me; do what I am supposed to do, and let go of what I think others are supposed to do. Easily said; much harder to do! Anyway, when the service was over we all set out for breakfast at the big house. Over my raisin bran and coffee I did have an interesting thought. The people here are a very diverse group in age, race, background, etc. We appear very different. Yet without jobs, cars, houses, spouses, or voices, we all seem pretty much the same; eating, walking, praying, resting. The line between self and other felt a little blurry as I sat there slowly chewing, feeling the breeze through the airy little curtains and focusing on all the ordinary morning sounds. My spoon in the bowl sent up a little clatter. The bird songs floating in from the window were a conversation, the screen door's muffled closing and the footsteps in the hall rounded out the feeling of life-as-usual and the whir of the refrigerator seemed as though it could have been the sound of the blood coursing through my very own body. I sat there until everyone had gone and for another few minutes alone. Walking back to my dwelling I listened to my every footstep and took care to avoid every single ant on the little sidewalk, already busy with their day's work.